Warning…  I know Christmas is all about happy sentiments and feeling good, so you may want to come back tomorrow and read this after Christmas is over.

Last night, Christmas Eve, I fell asleep on the couch, and when I woke up it was around 2 AM.  I took Shaggy outside so he could do his business. After we came back in, I sat down and thought about how much it doesn’t feel like Christmas this year without Collen.  If he were still here, he would have been sleeping on the ottoman, waiting for me to go to bed.  No matter how late it was, he’d always wait… well almost always. He’d probably go check out the presents under the tree now and then, always zeroing in on the ones that had dog treats in them.  He always knew which ones were for him. And he would wear his Christmas bells, collar covers, or whatever holiday apparel we made him wear. No antlers or hats or anything like that. He was an easy-going dog, but I think even he might have drawn the line at antlers.

I finally went to bed around 3 AM, and that’s when I had the dream.  I was sitting on the carpet in front of a desk.  Collen walked over to me to see what I was doing, so I said “Hey, Collen” and reached out to scratch his head.  That’s when I thought to myself that he shouldn’t be here, that he’s gone.  I’m not sure if it was a case of being aware that you’re dreaming inside your dream or if it was simply part of the dream itself, but I told myself not to think about it or he might go away, to just let it be.

So I did. I had a chance to hold my puppy again, and tell him how much I missed him. Was able to feel that super thick and soft fur around his neck, the same fur I remember crying into as I said good-bye to him a few months ago.  It was nice.

And then I woke up.  It was 3:29 AM.  And he was gone again.

Some relationships grow to occupy such a large part of your heart, that when they’re gone, that void is so wide and so deep, it takes a while to be filled again.  And sometimes there’s more than one place that feels empty, and you wonder if you can ever fill any of them.

I know there are people who will say he was just a dog, but I loved him for the 10 years he was with us, and I know he loved me too, in whatever way that works for dogs.  He’s been gone for three months, and sometimes it just hits me, and I realize it might take a little longer than I thought.

It just isn’t Christmas this year.

Now that we have that out of the way, lets get back to the horse blog with no name mentioned in the title of this post.  The last time I changed the look and feel of the site was way back in 2007; July to be specific. If you want to reminisce with me, check out my post about the change.  Four years is a long time, and the design just wasn’t aligning with how I wanted to present myself online.

Off I went to find a new theme.  I’m going to spare you all the ugly details, the screaming, the yelling, and the gnashing of teeth as I delved into PHP and CSS and who knows what other acronyms to beat my new theme into shape.  Instead I’ll fast forward past all of that and go right to the finished product.

So what do you think?  I’m a huge fan of Microsoft’s Metro UI, but I couldn’t find any good themes for WordPress that had that look.  Eventually I came across the Minimatica theme by One Designs which was close, and after a few changes, I now have a site with the clean, crisp, efficient look I wanted.  But I realized that I’m still missing something… a name for the site.

All these years, the header just said “Ladewig.com” at the top.  I suppose that was OK, but the site is long overdue for a proper christening with more than just a domain name.  So for now, I’m calling it ”Scott Ladewig’s {insert site name here}” with the hopes of filling in that placeholder.  I’m open to suggestions from you, my loyal readers. Pass along any suggestions you might have, and include the reason for your choice (if you don’t mind).  If I decide to use someone’s suggestion, that person will receive… my thanks and maybe lunch. Hey, I’m not made of money.

One more thing…. Don’t suggest “A Blog With No Name” or some variant thereof. Bing that phrase, and you’ll see that’s a pretty common blog name. My site deserves better, don’t you think?

As most of you know, I’m a big fan of Microsoft’s Windows Phone.  So when I found out that Microsoft was hosting an event in St. Louis, I registered as quick as I could.  Dubbed the “Windows Phone Inner Circle,” the 15-city tour was announced on the Windows Phone blog and promised food, drink, hands-on time with the latest phones, and a chance to win prizes. What’s not to like?

The event was at Malt House Cellar, a special event space in the basement of the Centennial Malt House, home of Vin de Set. This was my first time there, and if you’re in St. Louis and need a space for an event, you should checkit out. It used to be the entrance to tunnels for a brewery, and they’ve made it into a unique space with a couple bars, pool tables, and lots of cozy seating.  Having your event in the cellar did have one unfortunate side effect though… poor service for wireless devices. Something for the WP7 team to think about for future events.

Several members of the Windows Phone team were there, giving demos and answering questions about Windows Phone and about the handsets that were on display.  We had the opportunity to get hands-on with the Samsung Focus S, Samsung Focus Flash, HTC Radar 4G, and HTC Titan.  The Titan was the belle of the ball last night, mostly owing to its truly titanic 4.7 inch screen as well as the fact that it isn’t available for purchase yet.

I won’t go into specs or details here, you can click the links above for more info or Bing the names for any number of reviews.  I’ll just mention a few thoughts:

• Focus Flash – I didn’t really look at this phone much.  You get a lot of phone for your money at only $49.99, but it was overshadowed by its big brother the Focus S.
• Focus S - Looks great, has a perfect size for the screen, and is amazingly light.  It seems almost too light though. I like a little bit of heft to my phone; not heavy, but it should feel like there’s something there to hang on to. I’d be afraid to slip it in my pocket, forget about it, and scratch or break it somehow.
• HTC Radar 4G – As the only light colored phone there it definitely stands out in the Windows Phone family. it has a nice feel to it, mostly thanks to the metallic case. This was the only non-AT&T phone at the event. See T-Mobile if you’re interested.
• HTC Titan – My first thought was that the screen was just too big. At 4.7 inches we’re talking a mini-tablet not a phone. Where would I put this thing if I carried it around every day.  Once I had a chance to hold one in my hand—more on that later— I shifted my opinion a bit. The screen is huge, but the phone itself is also amazingly thin, thinner than my Trophy.   And the weight is perfect. HTC did a nice job on this phone.

We were encouraged to tweet during the event with the hashtag #wpstl and each tweet was an entry into the drawings that were help throughout the night.  I’d tweet about the event even if there weren’t prizes, but I’m not one to turn down a free phone or other swag.  If you glance back at the title of this post, you can probably guess what happened… Yes, I was one of the winners. (If you thought something else, shame on you.) Remember I said I had a chance to hold one of the elusive Titans?  That’s because I won one, along with a Windows 7 skateboard deck.  The deck is literally the largest single piece of Microsoft swag in my collection.

I knew I had won even before they finished reading my name because whenever someone reads my name, “Scott” comes out first and then they hesitate on my last name. They’ll start to sound out the “L” then pause, then they just wing it and hope they get it right. Everyone there was thrilled that I had won. OK, maybe thrilled isn’t the right word.  What can I say? I seem to have good luck at these kinds of events. Count the Xboxes at my house for proof of that. Don’t hate me for being lucky.

Now I need to figure out what I’m going to do with the Titan. I just switched our service to Verizon from Sprint, and I’m not looking to open another account.  I’m torn though… it is a really nice phone. I think it’ll probably wind up on eBay in order to fund an upgrade in case Verizon offers something comparable.

On the bright side, the NFL gave approval to a new Packers stock sale (Milwaukee Journal Sentinel news story)

Check out photos from my first day of D23 Expo (pre-expo). No captions yet. #d23expo

Top Twitterers in the TechEd Twitter Army

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TechEd 2011… The Krewe’s Stacheapalooza… Coming soon…

Our resident cardinal has started to sit in the tree outside our home office window now and then. Such pretty birds. Wish we had more than the single pair that frequents our feeder

Flowers in Winter – Project 365 Day 84, a photo by Ladewig on Flickr.

Winter reared its ugly head for the day, no doubt confusing the flowers in the back yard.

Bart Starr – Project 365 Day 83, a photo by Ladewig on Flickr.

Bart Starr was at Maryville University as part of a speaker’s series. I wound up going at the last minute when a meeting was cancelled, so I didn’t have as good a seat as I had hoped. The place was packed with Packers fans, many more than students. The picture isn’t great due to lighting and having to zoom in.